What is magic without ramen
by pineappleCake101
Summary: Tom Riddle always had an obsession with ramen. He also thinks that Naruto is a better name than Tom. He just doesn't remember why. (In which Naruto is reborn as Tom Riddle, and Dumbledore is confused).
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own neither Naruto nor Harry Potter.

 **1938, London**

When Dumbledore apparated at the steps of Wool's orphanage to deliver Hogwarts' letter to a young Mr. Tom Marvolo Riddle, he had the most curious feeling. Almost as if something monumental would happen during his meeting today.

However, when he laid his eyes upon the blindingly orange orphanage (Merlin's beard, he didn't know colors could be that bright without being drunk from Firewhisky), that feeling was banished to the depths of his mind.

Did all muggles have this wonderful taste in color? How fascinating. He really should go shopping in Muggle London sometimes.

Dumbledore admired the orange building a little longer before he knocked on the building's door. A few seconds later, a harried looking woman opened the door.

"Ah, you must be the caregiver, delighted to meet you. I am here for Mr. Tom Riddle. May I speak to the person in charge of th-", Dumbledore started before he was interrupted by shouting.

"-MARVOLO RIDDLE, YOU GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT. WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT -"

"Sorry sir, we are quite busy right now. Another time?" the woman appeared frazzled.

"-perfectly fine, stop being such a worrywart, granny. You'll get even more old and wrinkly!" another voice called out.

"Perhaps I can be of help?" Dumbledore quickly interjected, guessing that the owner of the second voice was young Riddle. He did want to investigate a bit more about why the boy was triggering this peculiar feeling within him.

"-COULD'VE DIED-"

"You one of the people Tom pranked yesterday? Now's not a good time. Good day, sir." the woman attempted to shut the door. Seeing no way around it, Dumbledore casted a quick Confundus charm on her.

Dumbledore wandered into the building (whose interior was painted in an even more eye searing shade of orange if it was possible). "Tell me about Tom, what did he do yesterday?"

"Tom found out that our orphanage is running low on funds and that Mrs. Cole was taunted and ridiculed by the Tur family when she went to seek donations. Last night, he went and coated the entire Tur mansion in dung. Then he went to some bar and gambled for money. He came back this morning with bruises, cuts and 2000 pounds", the woman dazedly followed Dumbledore. "Mrs. Cole was furious that he would gamble for money again and put his own life at risk in the process. He could've been killed by those thugs with how much he won."

"He's done it before?" Dumbledore was intrigued.

"Only once before, when he was seven and discovered that he had extraordinarily good luck and the fundings for our orphanage was stretched thin. He brought 1000 pounds back to the orphanage then. It helped to keep everyone in the building fed. Mrs. Cole made him swear to never do it again, and he hasn't till now."

What a brave and loyal boy. Perhaps a Gryffindor? Maybe a Hufflepuff? Truly, the boy astonished him. Though the gambling behaviour should be discouraged. Thinking about his prank (quite amusing actually), Dumbledore decided that Tom would definitely be a Gryffindor.

The fight inside the building appeared to have died down and Dumbledore quickly proceeded down the hallway, eager to find his future pupil. He knocked on the door labeled Mrs. Cole's office, only for the door to open and be attacked from both sides by orange blurs. The blurs attempted to tickle him, with the one of the right yelling "Ha, take that for snitching on me, Mary!", while the left one followed with an agreeing hiss. _Hiss?!_

"Tom, Ramen, you idiots, stop it this instant. That's not Mary!", another older woman chased after them.

"Oh," The right blur stopped and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Hahaha, sorry old man."

It is only then that Dumbledore was able to register the figures in front of him. One was a handsome young boy with midnight black hair, bright blue eyes, and a sunny smile. He was wearing a bright orange jumpsuit (impeccable taste in clothing, Dumbledore thinks faintly). The other however, brought his mind screeching to a halt. It was a large snake wearing an orange suit (an orange suit!). A snake that hissed at Tom, who nodded in agreement and hissed something back.

"Hey old man, Ramen thinks your magenta robes are ridiculous, have you ever thought of orange instead?" asked the boy that quite suddenly had the potential to become a Slytherin.

* * *

It is as young Riddle bombards him with questions about wizarding princesses and knights and noble quests, that Dumbledore slowly reconciles the cheerful energetic child in front of him with a Parselmouth.

"So? So? Old man Dumbs? Is Hogfarts really a castle? Woo, woo, are there princesses in the magical world? Are they pretty? Do they like ramen? Woo woo, I bet there are dark evil wizards who want to take over their kingdoms!"

"It's Hogwarts, and Tom, there's no-"

"Fear not princess! For the heroic Tom Marvolo Riddle, the next Minister of Magic, will save you!" The boy had stars in his eyes. _And why is there suddenly a sunset background behind him? It doesn't feel like accidental magic but it's not disappearing!_

Ramen, the snake who is still eyeing his tasteful magenta suit in disgust (clearly this snake is colorblind), whipped the blonde on the face with his tail.

"The great Tom will save you with his loyal sidekick, Ramen!" Tom quickly corrected, only for the snake to whack him harder on his side. "Fine. With the great noble handsome Lord Ramen." Tom said, a big pout appearing on his face.

"Wait a minute", he screwed his face up into a constipated expression, "Oi, why do you get to be a lord? You can't even throw a piece of dung right! You hit me with it last night!"

 _hiss_ , _hiss_

"What do you mean you weren't aiming that turd at the Tur mansion?!"

 _Hissssss_

With a howl, the boy dived for the snake and both of them proceeded to engage in an all-out brawl in front of the Dumbledore's disbelieving eyes.

"Is he always like this?" Dumbledore swayed, feeling as if he has somehow travelled to an alternate dimension by accident (perhaps he really did? And maybe Tom Riddle was supposed to be a murderous dark boy instead of the child who was currently wrestling with his snake on the floor.)

"Not really, he's actually behaving himself. I mean, he hasn't even tried to prank you yet. He must've taken a liking to you and your stories of magic." the women rubbed her chin contemplatively.

 _This is behaving? Merlin save Hogwarts._

"You knew about magic before I showed up." Dumbledore decided to take his mind off of the headache called Tom and instead tried to determine if the woman would be a threat to the wizarding world.

"Certainly." Mrs. Cole said, sending him an amused look, "quite hard not to with Tom here hanging off of the ceiling declaring himself the superhero protector of this orphanage."

"He used magic intentionally?"

"Was he not supposed to? He had been practicing his powers since he was a child." Mrs. Cole said. "Tom had always told me stories about superpower humans and talking toads and powerful foxes that he dreamt of. I thought they were just that, a child's dreams and fantasies, until the day a criminal escaped to our orphanage and tried to do, _unpleasant_ things…" she paused, shuddering, "But Tom stopped him by creating a strong blast of wind with his bare hands. He saved me. From then on, I knew that superpowers existed. And considering Tom's dreams, a society of supernatural beings is quite likely too."

How fascinating. Perhaps Tom had Seer abilities as well? Though talking toads? Maybe a species of magical creature that hasn't yet been discovered? Dumbledore resolved to look into it.

"Does anyone else know about his magic?"

"No, no one in the orphanage knows besides me. Everyone just thinks that he is a loveable prankster with too good luck." She said, smiling gently at the still moving form of Tom. "Of course, when Tom discovered that he had superpowers, he wanted to show it off to the whole world and be acknowledged as the Great Lord Riddle, Saviour of All. His words, not mine"

Dumbledore chuckled, "but you managed to convince him otherwise?"

"Oh, yes. A few stories of mad scientists did the trick. He's quite afraid of them. From then on, he practiced his powers in private in the forest behind our orphanage"

"You are not afraid of him? Of his powers? Never thought of actually turning him in to those scientists?" Dumbledore asked, the air around him crackling with power.

Mrs. Cole didn't answer for a moment. "When Tom saved me, he blasted the criminal, a grown man through the ceiling. At the time, I couldn't help but fear that the same power might be used against me, against the other children in this orphanage. But," keeping her eyes upon the forms of the energetic boy on the floor, she continued with a gentle smile, "Tom is one of those souls you know. So bright and kind. He could never hurt anyone intentionally. When I asked him what he wanted to do with his newfound powers, he told me" _sniff_ "that he knows I'm scared, but he will practice and practice his powers, so he can use it to protect me and all his precious persons."

"Tom is an angel, Mr. Dumbledore, and I won't have you treating him as if he's dangerous simply because he can talk to snakes. Don't deny it. I've seen how you looked at Tom when he started talking to Ramen." The women's fiery gaze bore into his eyes, "Tom Marvolo Riddle is a precious boy. Hogwarts and the wizarding world are lucky to have him. And you, Mr. Dumbledore, best treat him right."

It was as Dumbledore held the gaze of the tiny muggle woman, who appeared ready to battle with him, one of the greatest wizards of the century, that he was forced to admit to himself that perhaps it was time to discard prejudices. And maybe, just maybe, Tom Marvolo Riddle would become one of the greatest student Hogwarts has to offer to the wizarding world.

 **A/N: My first story! Yay! I want to send a huge thank you to my awesome betas matsuyaoi and Ruffles1996. Thank you ladies so much for giving me great ideas, for being awesome editors, and for supporting me the whole way. Love you both so much! Happy new years! Have an amazing 2019!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Tom, please, you can't take Ramen with you to Diagon Alley", Dumbledore sighed, "He'll terrify other people."

"Ehhh, why are people with superpowers such wimps," Tom whined, "Ramen won't bite them. He's too stuck-up to eat anything raw."

The snake gave a series of angry hisses.

"Ohhh, you are in for it now old man. Ramen is mad." Tom grinned mischievously, raising a hand to cover his mouth as his whole body shook with the effort to contain laughter, "He said that he's a peace loving snake whose favorite food is carrots and how dare you suggest that he is dangerous within hearing shot of Ms. Sparkles."

"I beg your pardon?" _A carrot loving snake?_ Merlin, he must have gone mad.

"See, Ramen is weird. He's crazy for Ms. Sparkles, but Ms. Sparkles hates the sight of him hahaha." Tom giggled, "Last Valentines, Ramen tried to give her a carrot as a present and she jumped out of the window to escape instead." At this piece of information, the snake dropped onto the ground from its perch on Tom's shoulder and started to try to bury itself into the ground. Every inch of its body spoke of dejection.

Dumbledore's mouth twitched at the sight, doing his best to not laugh at the morose snake. "And might I ask who Ms. Sparkles is?" he asked, curious about the subject of the snake's affection (and really, the owner of that unfortunate name).

"Oh, she's Billy Stubbs's rabbit."

 _Wait what?_ "I beg you pardon? A rabbit?" _A snake in love with a rabbit? What in the name of Merlin's baggiest robes?_

"Yeah, Ramen has been in love with her for ages. Even changed his favorite food from steak to carrot for her. He wanted to have something in common with her." Tom answered nonchalantly as he crouched down next to Ramen and started to stroke the snake comfortingly. "I think it's stupid cuz he can't have meat anymore, and steak is the best food after ramen, but Mrs. Cole thinks it's _adorable_. Gross." He shudders.

...And Dumbledore thinks that muggles (or women in general?) are mad if they think that it's only 'adorable' for a snake to fall in love with a rabbit and then become a vegetarian altogether. It's bloody insane.

"Ramen hates it when other people say that he's dangerous. He thinks that's why Ms. Sparkles won't give him the time of day." Tom shook his head with a wise, grave air, "The delusional idiot. The real reason why Ms. Sparkles rejected him is …"

He trailed off theatrically. Dumbledore found himself reluctantly curious. Curse it, the boy sure knows how to capture other people's attention.

Tom wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he motioned Dumbledore to come closer. Against his better judgement, Dumbledore crouched down on the ground with Tom. "It's actually because," Tom said in a loud whisper, "Ramen is an ugly and rude bastard!"

With a yelp, Tom leapt away from the ground, giggling like mad as he ran out of the orphanage, an angry Ramen nipping at his heels.

Dumbledore, on the other hand, realizes that he has never loved his phoenix Fawkes as much as he does now. Thank Merlin that the sweet boy never involved him in any ridiculous romantic struggles.

"Yes, unfortunately, poor Ramen has never been right after Ms. Sparkles rejected him," commented an amused Mrs. Cole, who admirably kept a poker face throughout all of this exchange. "According to Tom, Ramen started making poems about why he is born a snake when he is a rabbit at heart. I think he is having a bit of an identity crisis."

Yes, he's definitely getting Fawkes that expensive goblin made silver perch he's been whining about.

* * *

Dumbledore was unceremoniously shoved out of the door with Tom and Ramen by Mrs. Cole.

"But, But," He tried helplessly, "don't you want to come with us? To Diagon Alley?" _Please don't leave me alone with them_ went unsaid but was heavily implied.

"Ah, I don't think so," she laughed, "I have to sort out the money that Tom just gave me. Have to purchase supplies and all that." She smirked at Dumbledore briefly, before pushing him out of the doors of the orphanage. "Good luck Mr. Dumbledore."

What a cruel cold-hearted woman. She'd fit right in with Grindelwald and his ilk were she a witch.

At that very moment, screams erupting outside on the london street and a loud, "Oi, Ramen stop trying to eat me! I told you, I'm sorry I called you ugly! But you are still a bastard!" had Dumbledore running.

"Sweet Merlin," he gasped, speechless at the sight in front of him.

Ramen had somehow managed to become 10 feet tall (magical snakes, no matter how magical, should not be able to do that!) and was destroying trees left and right as he tried to bite Tom. The muggles were screaming their lungs out, though thankfully none appeared to be hurt as both the snake and the boy were doing their best to avoid them. The boy who started all this chaos was miraculously still alive and giggling. He was currently jumping from tree to tree - leaping far too high and landing far too light - as he dodged strikes from Ramen.

Dumbledore groaned. Why, oh why, does he have to deal with this? The scene in front of him was a nightmare. The sheer amount of muggles that needed to be obliviated and have their memories changed. And don't even get him started on the property damage.

Maybe he can make the muggles think that a small hurricane just blew through? Or maybe an attack from that muggle dictator? He whimpered, horrified, as Ramen gave up on the chase and instead splat out a huge ball of water (which all but screamed powerful magic) at Tom - who stopped moving and turned to face Ramen instead.

"No, don't!" Dumbledore yelled. He tried to cast the Protegeo charm, but he's too far and that ball of water is moving too fast. Dumbledore felt sick, he fancied himself the protector of the weak, and yet he was going to watch his pupil get murdered before his very eyes. ( _Just like Ariana, please no...)_

Only, Tom created a glowing mass of wind in his hands and threw it to meet Ramen's attack.

The powerful constructs erupted against each other and created a huge _crater_ on the ground.

Dumbledore stared on, dumbstruck. He felt as if he was chewed by a particularly affectionate Horntail. Harried, frazzled, and entirely out of his depth.

A snake with enough magic to do that?! _He's not even going to think about it._

But Tom...an eleven year-old doing wandless powerful magic with that kind of ease?! Dumbledore was (and still is) referred to as a genius himself. But at that age he was just happy with a successful stinging hex!

"I must be going mad". he whispered to himself as, in front of him, the still giddy Tom leaped onto Ramen's head and yelled, "haha, try hitting me now stupid! You'll never catch me alive!"

"Yep, I am most certainly mad."

He was interrupted from his internal crisis by an absolutely miserable wail of "NOOO, NOT YOU TWO AGAIN!".

A glance towards the right told Dumbledore that a harried looking Ministry personnel had arrived to deal with this serious breach of the Statute of Secrecy.

"Tough day?" Dumbledore commiserated.

"An absolute nightmare!" the man cried, "some nutcase smuggled a dragon into the country and started flying around on it. My entire team went to chase them down. Two got blown off of their broomsticks, three got severe burns, and I got a major concussion. Why oh why, do these two have to act up today of all days!"

The poor fellow obviously had many dealings with Tom and Ramen before.

He paused for a second, turning around to stare at Dumbledore contemplatively. Hope started to bloom in his eyes.

"But wait! You are Mr. Dumbledore! You must be here to take Riddle to Hogwarts!" the man exclaimed, sounding absolutely delighted, "ohh ho ho, this means I'm not responsible for cleaning up after these two terrors anymore! You are their caregiver now!"

"Now, wait a minute -" Dumbledore started, having a sinking feeling about what the man was trying to get at.

"- That means you are responsible for this mess!" The man squealed, sounding as if Merlin had just come back alive, "St. Mungos, here I come!"

"No, wait just a moment -"

But Dumbledore was too late. With a loud _crack_ , the man vanished on the spot.

"- I'm only their _temporary_ caregiver…" he trailed off weakly, a hand reaching out to grasp at the thin air.

* * *

Dumbledore felt bone tired. Taking care of the muggles was simple enough (though one did try to sock him in the eye) and the property damage was explained away with a simple story of a meteorite falling from space.

But how does one calm a heartbroken, angry snake bent on revenge?

And Tom, ignorant to Dumbeldore's plight, isn't helping the case as he seems delighted in riling Ramen up with the occasional calls of "Bastard!"

Dumbledore tried constrainment charms, which the snake broke after a minute of struggling. He tried shrinking charms, which bounced off of Ramen's scales uselessly (the snake appears to be just as resistant to magic as the dragons). Heck, he was even desperate enough to try seduction - he presented the snake with a pretty white rabbit that was transfigured from a nearby pebble.

Really, not his proudest moment.

The blasted snake eyed him with disgust and with a hiss, turned to attack him instead.

"Ohhhh Ramen said you just insulted his love for Ms. Sparkles and he challenges you to a battle to prove his love," Tom cheered, "Go get him Ramen! How dare he think you will fall for just any rabbit!"

He really wants a Firewhisky now.

In the end, Mrs. Cole (who'd finally come out to investigate the commotion) came to his rescue.

"-PROPERTY DAMAGE! SHOULD I THANK YOU TWO FOR AT LEAST REMEMBERING TO AVOID INNOCENT BYSTANDERS?!-"

Tom gave her a hopeful smile, his big blue eyes lighting up, looking relieved that Mrs. Cole appeared to be letting him off the hook.

"-THANK THE LORD THAT THESE POOR SOULS DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU TWO CAME FROM! THEY'D THINK THAT THE ENTIRE ORPHANAGE WAS FILLED WITH BUDDING TERRORISTS!"

Both culprits winced at that.

"NOW YOU TWO ARE GOING TO SHOP WITH MR. DUMBLEDORE HERE. I WANT YOU TO FOLLOW HIS INSTRUCTIONS TO THE DOT! THAT MEANS NO PRANKING, NO FIGHTING, NO JUMPING FROM ONE BUILDING TO ANOTHER, NO BECOMING GIGANTIC, NO PLAYING WITH YOUR POWERS, AND NO TORMENTING POOR MR. DUMBLEDORE!" she hollered.

Turning around to face Dumbledore (who unconsciously backed up), she asked in a deceptively sweet voice, "anything you'd like to add dear?"

"Um, Ramen…" Dumbledore forced the words out of his throat. He really can't allow a snake that powerful to come to Diagon Alley. He'd terrify the wizarding population senseless.

"Transform him into a rabbit." She snapped, "For God's sake, I saw what you did with that pebble."

 _But he's resistant to magic!_ Dumbeldore wanted to protest. But the words died in his throat when Ramen leaped in front of him, eyes gleaming with delight. Beside him, Tom exclaimed, "Old man Dumbs, you are like Ramen's fairy godmother! You are so cooooool!" and proceeded to declare Dumbledore as his personal hero.

Merlin have mercy on him, please let that boy be a Slytherin. Horace fancied himself the collector after all. The dear chap can deal with the doom that is Tom Riddle and his ridiculous pet and muggle caregiver.

* * *

Omake 1: In which Tom Riddle escaped from Dumbledore seconds after they entered Diagon Alley.

Tom Riddle made his entrance to the magical world by hanging off of the top of Gringotts and yelling "I, THE GREAT TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE, WILL BE THE NEXT MINISTER OF MAGIC! BELIEVE IT" to the bewildered witches and wizards unfortunate enough to be at Diagon Alley at that moment.

He emphasized his declaration by splatter painting Gringotts in a blinding shade of orange.

This of course did not sit well with the goblins, who really didn't have the best tempers to begin with.

These creatures saw the act as a declaration of war and immediately assembled a 15 man squad to go after Tom.

Tom, on the other hand, was _delighted_. He scooped up Ramen (who was busy admiring his newly acquired white fur and fluffy ears) and sprinted off with a loud whoop. "You will never catch me! Believe it!"

"Hey, hey, Ramen, I feel like I've done this before!" he said as he leaped from one roof to another.

"What? Piss off a bunch of ugly goblins?" Ramen answered, "Tsk, why am I still speaking snake?! I thought I'd be able to speak rabbit in this body. That old man-wizard is a total flake! And I have soooo many poems I wanted to recite to Sparks...At this rate, I will never be able to tell her how her glorious white fur makes me want to purr." His rabbit ears drooped down gloomily at the thought.

"-Haha you have to do your teleporting thing faster!" Tom yelled over his shoulders. "No, I mean being chased and running away on rooftops! I did this before. Somewhere. I think people in masks were chasing me! It was awesome!"

"Hey, hey, idiot, do you think Sparks will like me now? I think I'm a totally hot rabbit now. Maybe she will finally eat the carrots I give her now?" Ramen continued on unperturbed, he tapped his paws excitedly against the top of Tom's head.

Tom stopped suddenly, twisting his head to try to look up at Ramen. "You are such a weirdo Ramen, girls are gross!" Tom said in all the seriousness of an eleven-year-old. He shook his head, exasperated at the strangeness of his best friend. "Let's go find old man Dumbs now, I heard him talking about a Firewhisky or something when we entered that pub. What a drunk, even I know adults are not supposed to drink when there's kids around."

In the end, the goblins that went on the wild goose chase never managed to catch Tom. Because they only saw the backs of the boy during the chase, the only information they had is that the boy declared himself to be Tom Marvolo Riddle and that he appeared to be eight to ten years old judging from his short stature. Gringotts settled with listing Tom Marvolo Riddle as Undesirable Number 1 and refused to serve anyone with that name.

The very same day, Tom Riddle opened an account in Gringotts under the name Naruto Uzumaki. He can't explain why he did it, only that Naruto (which means fishcake in Japanese. An ingredient of his favorite miso ramen! And it also means whirlwind!) is a much better name than boring old Tom.

* * *

Omake 2: What Dumbledore was doing while Tom was leading the goblins on a wild goose chase.

In the Leaky Cauldron, Dumbledore is nursing his third bottle of Firewhisky on a couch by the fireplace.

"Mr. Dumbledore, didn't you have a student with you before? Where did he go?" Tom the bartender asked, bewildered that the esteemed Hogwarts professor appeared to be bent on getting roaring drunk in his pub.

"Tom?" Dumbledore blearily opened his eyes, "Gahhh, why are you still here Tom? Go terrify the poor sods in the Alley instead. Leave me alone..." He dozed off, still clutching the bottle of Firewhisky in his hands.

"Well, I never!" Tom exclaimed, offended.

From the year 1938 to 1939, Dumbledore bemusedly found himself banned from the Leaky Cauldron. He could not, for the life of him, figure out what prompted Tom to ban him. But, like many troubles in his life these days, he decided that Tom Riddle and his snake were to be blamed.

 **Sorry for the long wait! But here is chapter 2! A huge thank you to all those who reviewed and left such encouraging and supportive comments!**

 **Next chapter: Abraxas Malfoy thinks that the sorting hat is senile. His new roommate is anything but a Slytherin: he is muggleborn, unrefined, loud, and a prankster to boot! But living with Tom also happens to be the most fun Abraxas had in his whole life. So no, his father won't hear about this (unless the newest target of Tom's prank is him that is, then his father will definitely hear about it!)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The Malfoy family apparated into Platform 9¾ at exactly 5 minutes to eleven. After all, it wouldn't do for such an upstanding family (one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight no less!) to wait around for something as trivial as a school train.

Septimus Malfoy eyed the Hogwarts Express with barely concealed disgust. "Muggle transportation, how distasteful." He drawled, "Honestly, Elladora, you'd think with the amount of gold that we generously gift to Hogwarts every year that they can afford to use magical carpets to transport our young."

Beside him, Elladora Malfoy tittered. "My dear Mr. Malfoy, you know perfectly well that our world is becoming plagued with blood-traitors and those filthy mudbloods. They wouldn't know finesse even if it hit them in the face."

Septimus deigned her with an approving smirk.

"Oh, our poor Abaraxas," Elladora gasped as a thought struck her. She clutched Septimus's arm, "he will be rubbing elbows with those filth! This is terrible Septimus, do something!"

"Now now Elladora, do calm down. Much as I'd like to, I can't get rid of all the slime in our world... Although," Septimus tapped a finger against his chin, "I can donate some gold to Grindelwald's cause. Merlin knows that the man is doing the entire magical world a favour by purging out the unpleasant pests amidst us. I do hope he will finish up his business in Germany faster and come to England to continue his glorious work."

"No darling, I meant we should send Abaraxas to Durmstrang instead!" cried Elladora, "they don't allow any mudbloods attend their institution! A fine magical institution indeed! And I heard that they teach Dark Arts so marvelously, I mean, they produced pupils like Grindelwald!"

The drama unfolding between the pair is drawing quite a few glances and whispers from other bystanders on the platform.

A short distance behind Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, a young boy stood silently. He looked like a miniature Septimus Malfoy. They had the same pale skin, aristocratic features, silver-stony eyes, and white-blond hair. However, unlike Septimus who wore arrogance and aloofness like a cloak, the boy exuded an air of gentleness.

Abraxas Malfoy is well used to the antics of his parents. It's their way of loving him after all. It's just that...sometimes, Abraxas wished they could show it differently. He cast a longing glance at a family a few meters away from them - the mother was kissing her daughter goodbye, while the father was surreptitiously wiping away a tear.

Uncomfortable at the public display of affection, Abraxas quickly looked away, chiding himself for wanting something so undignified.

"Elladora, my dear, you do have a point," Abraxas tuned back to his parents' conversation, "Perhaps Abraxas can even follow along the path of Grindelwald should he go to Durmstrang. How glorious would that be?" Septimus continued, "And Durmstrang doesn't start term until next week. I'm sure if I write dear old Poliakoff a letter, he'd be happy to accept Abraxas."

"How wonderful you are Mr. Malfoy," cooed Elladora, "Shall we head home then and -"

 _No!_ Abraxas panicked internally. Just the thought of going to Durmstrang and being expected to become Grindelwald's follower made Abraxas' skin crawl. He knew, from the many preachings from his father, that muggles and muggleborns ( _-"Mudbloods, Abraxas, they are mudbloods,"_ Elladora's voice screeched in his head) were lower beings than purebloods like him, but he still didn't think it right to hurt them.

"Mother," interjected Abraxas anxiously, "I quite like going to Hogwarts." The boy cast a nervous glance at his father, who looked disapproving. "I mean," Abraxas continued quickly, "It is the school of all of our ancestors after all. I will be a Slytherin of course, like all Malfoys before me. I will make the House of Malfoy proud."

His parents still didn't look convinced.

"And Slytherin won't have any mugglebor-, I mean mu-mudbloods!" He stuttered slightly, uncomfortable about using that word. "I won't have to interact with them at all."

"Hmm, our son does have a point Elladora," Septimus mused, "And Merlin knows that my father will turn over in his grave if he knew that I broke the tradition and sent the heir of the House of Malfoy to Durmstrung."

With a sigh of relief, Abraxas beamed at his father. The lingering feeling of want that he had from watching the other family disappeared in a flash. His parents just loved him differently, that was all there was to it.

"Stop grinning like an idiot, Abraxas," Septimus adjusted the sleeves of his already pristine robes, "You look like one of those uncouth lowborns. Do compose yourself in a manner befitting the heir of House of Malfoy."

Abraxas quickly schooled his face into an expressionless mask. On the inside, however, he was still flushed with happiness. His parents may not be the most open with their affection, but they listened to him and respected his wishes. He will make them proud. He will be a perfect Slytherin.

* * *

"SLYTHERIN!" roared the Sorting Hat.

Polite applause broke out from the Slytherin table, happy to welcome yet another pureblood heir into their midst.

With a small pleased smile on his face, Abraxas nodded at the Black siblings and took his seat beside them. He couldn't wait to write to his parents about his sorting. Abraxas could even picture his father wearing a rare and approving smile and his mother showering him with praises.

The Hogwarts castle was everything that he imagined it to be. Ancient, magical, majestic, and powerful. He couldn't wait to study runes, transformation, charms, defense against the dark arts, and and.. just everything. Abraxas looked eagerly around the Great Hall, thirstily drinking everything in.

At the front of the Great Hall, Professor Dumbledore was calling out the names of pupils.

"Reyes, Victoria" "RAVENCLAW!"

"Richardson, Robert" "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Riddle, Tom Marvolo"

"Alright! Finally old man! I thought you'd never call my name!" A boy bounced out from the crowd of first years.

The Great Hall burst into whispers as he jumped forward. It wasn't because of his eye searing orange robes, nor the ridiculous suit wearing rabbit that was perched atop his head, nor the exuberant excitement that he projected. It was because of his name.

"Tom Marvolo Riddle?" Walburga Black turned sharply on her seat to get a look at the boy in question. "The wizard who riled up all the goblins at Gringotts, had a squad of their best after him, and got away laughing and with all his limbs attached?! That Tom Marvolo Riddle?!" She looked incredulous, her eyes scanning Riddle up and down, almost as if she was trying to find a fully-grown wizard under Riddle's orange facade.

"No wizard has been able to do that in at least a century," Alphard Black looked at Riddle with a look of worship. His cheeks flushed a brilliant shade of red. "He must be really really powerful and amazing and knowledgeable on magic. I can't believe he is our age. Oh goodness! When I heard what he managed to pull off, I thought he must've been at least 30. Playful yes, but at least a grown wizard!" Alphard looked like one of those fervent fangirls Abraxas saw occasionally at the Diagon Alley during book signings. "Sweet Merlin, I'm going to be in the same class as him. I-I might even be his roommate. Oh, please let him be a Slytherin."

Abraxas inched slightly away from Alphard Black, hoping that Alphard (who had started gasping for air) didn't faint on the spot.

The entire Great Hall was in an uproar. Abraxas even noticed a couple of Gryffindors climbing atop the dining table to get a better look at Riddle.

Abraxas himself was, well, very impressed with Riddle. The sheer amount of guts and power it took to do what he did. Abraxas could only imagine it in his wildest dreams. His parents would jinx him to oblivion should he even entertain the idea. If only he had even a sliver of Riddle's courage. Then he'd at least have the nerve to tell his parents that he didn't want the House-Elves punished for the tiniest mistakes, that he didn't want to call muggleborn wizards mudbloods. Abraxas admired, no looked up to, Riddle's wild spirit.

The boy in question beamed at the Great Hall in general. "I'm Tom Marvolo Riddle! The future Minister of Magic! Believe it!" He then struck the most ridiculous position Abraxas had ever seen, "and this is Ramen! My awesome sidekick - ow! Stop hitting me Ramen! - My awesome advisor!" The rabbit perched on his head bowed to the crowd.

"Burga, even his pet is so smart and talented," Alphard clutched Walburga's wrist, "He will definitely be the next Minister of Magic! Do you think I should write to father and ask him to support Mr. Riddle in the future elections?" Walburga, in Abraxas's private opinion, looked more like she was considering what hex she wanted to hit Alphard with rather than how to manipulate their magical community's political landscape.

"Stop it Alphard, I can't feel my hand!" Walburga tore her arm out from Alphard's clutches, "Riddle is definitely powerful, I'll give you that. But don't you go and worship him. That happy idiotic persona he has going on? It is just as likely to be true as a Black being sorted into Gryffindor. There is no way someone would anger Gringotts for fun. Riddle definitely did something to Gringotts under the guise of that prank. Mark my words, Riddle is not what he appears."

"You are just jealous that Mr. Riddle is so powerful!", Alphard stuck his tongue out, "well, forget about her, Abraxas, what do you think? Burga is convinced that everything about Mr. Riddle is fake. She even thinks the name is a fake name." Alphard shook his head, "my sister is a special brand of paranoid."

"Well, I think -" Abraxas started to say.

"You think I am paranoid?! Well I think you are too gullible! You could be a Hufflepuff with how clueless you are acting!" Walburga glared at her brother, her already fuzzy hair rising up and becoming bigger as her magic started to buzz around her in fury, "Do you know any pureblood family by the name of Riddle? No, I don't think so!"

"I don't see why Mr. Riddle has to be a pureblood!"

"Because everyone knows that pureblood wizards are the strongest! Just look at Professor Dumbledore and Lord Grindelwald." Walburga declared with a superior tilt of her chin, "There is no way Riddle isn't one. And he even hints at it with his name! Riddle! He is a riddle! This just shows how mysterious his true origins are! "

"I think you are nuts Burga." Alphard rolled his eyes, offended that Walburga was suggesting his idol was fake, "There are plenty of powerful, non-pureblood wizards. Stop being so prejudiced."

"What do you think Abraxas?" The two siblings turned to Abraxas as one, intent on getting a supporter on their side.

Abraxas, who had not been able to get a word in edgewise throughout this whole debate, smiled indulgently at the Black siblings. He ruthlessly crushed down the stab of envy and quickly redirected their attention, "Look, the Sorting Hat is about to announce Riddle's house"

* * *

Dumbledore felt as if a hippogriff was trampling around in his stomach. Tom Riddle had one-third of a chance of ending up in Gryffindor (he refused to believe that Tom could be a Ravenclaw) and that chance was one-third too high for his liking.

The feeling of doom intensified as he watched the boy gleefully climb onto the stool.

Please let him be a Slytherin.

* * *

"BETTER BE - SLYTHERIN!"

The Slytherin table erupted into applause. A couple of over enthusiastic second years even climbed atop the table and yelled "WE GOT RIDDLE!"

"Barbarians," Walburga sneered. She turned to Alphard, "Don't you dare-"

"HE'S A SLYTHERIN!" Alphard had already jumped onto the table, "WE GOT RIDDLE!"

"Stop it! Alphard Pollux Black, you get your arse down this instant!" Walburga hissed in annoyance, pulling sharply on Alphard's robes, "You are embarrassing yourself and the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black!"

"Merlin, Burga, let loose," Alphard clambered back into his seat and laughed, "You sound just like our mother! Forget the House of Black! The most important thing is that we got Riddle! Possibly the most powerful wizard to walk the halls of Hogwarts since Dumbledore!"

"Alphard Black! How dare you brush off your duties to maintain the dignity and honour of the House of Bl-" Walburga screeched.

"Hey Abraxas," Alphard unrepentantly ignored his sister, "Do you think I can become roommates with Riddle? I wonder who makes the room assignments. Do you think I can bribe them?"

"I think it's Professor Slughorn, but Al-" Abraxas eyed the figure that had just stopped behind Alphard nervously.

"I heard about Slughorn from my dad! Said he's a sucker for good whisky. Maybe I can get Wonky to nick my dad's whisky for me and bribe Slughorn with it!"

"Um, Alphard," Abraxas felt a flush of embarrassment for his friend, "Tom is right behin-"

"Is that a good idea? Do you think it will work? Oh my gosh, I can even sleep in the same bed as him!"

"Wahhh, are you a stalker?" A loud voice decidedly not Abraxas's answered, "That's creepy! And I'm not sharing my bed with anything except for ramen! Not this rabbit monster Ramen here, I meant real heavenly ramen. Did you know that there are miso ramen, tomato ramen …" Riddle dropped onto the seat besides Abraxas and proceeded to give the table an earnest talk on the wonders of ramen.

Abraxas felt like laughing at the stark contrast between Riddle and Alphard. Riddle was off in his own world, talking a mile a minute about the wonders of ramen (which now Abraxas was convinced to try). Alphard, on the other hand, had practically wilted in dejection. The very picture of a fanboy rejected by his long-time idol.

"Um Mr. Riddle?" Alphard fidgeted, steam appearing to be coming out of his ears, "I..I.. I just really like you, and I think you are amazing and talented and smart and funny, and I tru-truly believe that you will be the next Minister of Magic!" Alphard squeezed his eyes shut and shouted, "I didn't want to freak you out! I just wanted to BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS YOU! YOU ARE MY IDOL!"

Silence. The entire Great Hall had turned quiet in stunned silence.

Abraxas groaned internally. Across from him, Walburga slammed her head against the dining table.

"Please tell me my idiotic brother did not just declare his stalker tendency and his obsession for Riddle to the entire Hogwarts population."

Abraxas could only pat her on the back sympathetically. His father had taught him many things to prepare for Hogwarts - dark magic, defensive magic, politics of prominent Slytherin families - but Septimus had never taught Abraxas what to do when his childhood friend embarrassed himself in front of the whole school. It could only be worse for Burga, he could already imagine the dark reputation of the Black family going down the drain.

"YOU ARE A FANBOY!" Riddle broke the silence and pointed an accusing finger at Alphard.

Trance broken, the Great Hall roared back to life as students eagerly shared the latest piece of gossip about the mysterious Tom Riddle.

"I-I-" Alphard had turned a beefy shade of red.

"Oh, well," Riddle dropped his hand, "If I didn't just have this dream about a super pervert who peeks at girls' baths last night, I'd be seriously weirded out by you. But because I did have it, you are alright." He turned to Abraxas, "you aren't another stalker fan right? Because one is enough."

"No, no, of course not." Abraxas just admired Riddle's brave and fun spirit, he most certainly did not want to sleep with the boy! "I'm Abraxas, Abraxas Malfoy. You can call me Abraxas." He thrust out his hand.

"Cool." Riddle ignored the proffered hand and chose to thump Abraxas's back enthusiastically instead, "I'm Tom, and this is Ramen, and we are the Ramen Defenders!" He gave a big thumbs up and grinned broadly, exposing gleaming white teeth that appeared to be sparkling under the candle light.

"Sorry?" Abraxas felt lost, especially when the rabbit mirrored Tom's pose.

"Oh, Ramen and I decided that we need a name for our team, but we haven't really settled on one yet. Right now, we are debating between Magical Saviours, Prank Monsters, and Ramen Defenders. Ramen wanted to be called Carrot Eaters, but that's just ridiculous. Even Death Eaters sounds cooler. What do you think?"

"They are all really good names! You are cool no matter what you call yourselves!" Alphard (who had been eavesdropping) answered earnestly, "Your amazing power and kind personality will shine through no matter what!"

Tom looked blindsided by this show of unconditional admiration and fervent devotion. He smiled uncertainly, "Thanks, eh-?"

"Alphard! Alphard Black!"

"Thanks Alphard!" Tom beamed, his face lighting up with happiness.

Abraxas watched as Tom sheepishly scratched his head and turned a matching tomato red to Alphard's face. For the first time since meeting him, Tom's brash and energetic persona fell away, exposing a shy and bashful side. For all his powers and ambition, it looked like Tom was someone who valued and treasured kindness and affection, and for that, Abraxas decided that Tom Riddle would make a true friend.

 **Here's chapter 3!** **Alphard is completely unplanned but he stole his way into my heart (the little fanboy haha). I promise that I will actually write about the** **teaser I dropped in the last chapter, it will be in chapter 4.**


End file.
